Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why can't white people just surrender their white privilege?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I was tired of fighting.

Why can't the US government force this new deep seek to not operate in the USA for security reasons? People's personal information will be available to China like TikTok was.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why would a person always be so tired?

The sadness was still there.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

So who has worn a cock cage. One of my guy FWBs put one on me last Sunday and left with the keys? I was very nervous at first but have calmed down. Told me he'll unlock it tomorrow.. Let me know.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I had run out of hope.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why would a man be interested in an ordinary woman while there are very beautiful and fabulous women?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Have you ever had a weird experience immediately following the death of a loved one that made you think there is an afterlife and that the deceased person was communicating with you?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

Which city should one visit between Nice and Cannes? Why?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Do you find Anushka Sen attractive?

And the sadness?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.